One of the first things many parents do after hearing an Autism diagnosis is wonder “did I give my child Autism?” The cause of Autism is a hot topic on the internet and has real life implications for how families feel about and bond with their child.
Nurture
The phrase “nature vs. nurture” takes on a unique meaning for Autism families. When my oldest was diagnosed I automatically jumped to nurture as the cause. I racked my brain. Was it something I ate, was it from dying my hair, did I inhale something harmful? Was it because my son was born 5 weeks premature and had breathing difficulties?
I was pregnant with my second child at the time. My doctors told me there was a very slim chance my second child would also have Autism. I was extra careful my entire pregnancy and birth. Despite my best efforts, he was also diagnosed with Autism at 22 months old.
Nature
Having a second child with Autism shifted my thinking to nature. Both kids had very different pregnancies, births and early years yet ended up with the same diagnosis. We decided to see a geneticist at this point. She was unable to find any known marker for Autism in either child. Her gut feeling was that our family had some yet to be discovered genetic predisposition to Autism. She told us that we should consider our genetic risk before having more children…little did she know, I was already pregnant.
My third pregnancy was entirely different than my first two. I was even more careful than I had been before yet the day she was born I knew she had Autism too. When she was 17 months old she was formally diagnosed.
Yes, I gave my child Autism
Recent research on Autism seems to point to a genetic predisposition as well. Which was oddly comforting to me. Once I realized that our children all had Autism because of me, our healing journeys began. I started to notice how my “quirks” overlapped with the same symptoms that made my children “autistic”.
For the first time I saw myself in their Autism diagnoses. Knowing that I am a happy and healthy adult meant that my kids were going to be just fine. I have multiple college degrees, a successful career, friends and found belonging in this world–and my children will too. Yes it is a difficult road, but who better to help them navigate it than me. Someday they will be healthy and happy adults who have some “quirks” and that’s okay.
So yes, I did cause my children’s autism. But it wasn’t because of some careless action, environmental toxin or parenting flaw. My children have Autism because I have DNA variants that were passed along to all three children.
Further reading
I realize this is a sensitive topic and people may disagree on the cause of Autism. This post is just one family’s story and was intended to spark discussions and self-reflection. For more information on recent research about the possible causes of Autism please visit:
http://www.niehs.nih.gov/health/topics/conditions/autism/